Blasphemy Baby

by K. Mobley
Chestnut Review

And if things could be different, I would have held 
the knife steady. Made an offering. Praised and praised.
On Sundays, I forget to leave my guilt behind.
Don’t worry. I can be soft and knowing. I can be
quiet as God. Lately, I cry more often than I orgasm.
The doctor says this is normal for people with
my condition. I take things with names that sound ancient
and expired and swallow the whole bottle.
I attempt nothing. All I know is to be too guilty
and filled with other people’s mouths. My father takes
his whiskey always with three ice cubes but says this is
coincidence. What is a family, if not genesis? What am I,
if not a series of beginnings? I want to learn closure the way
a door knows it, loud and with purpose. Everything
enters me and I let it. O Mother, I flood everywhere. O Mother,
there is so much of me to apologize for.

K. Mobley (they/them) is a bundle of crows in a long green cloak. A poet and writer based out of Missouri, their works explores themes of gender, the body, and upbringing. A winner of poetry contests from Garden Party Collective and Fatal Flaw Literary Magazine, they have also been published in Chestnut Review, Wingless Dreamer, and Street Lit. Their chapbook, BODY/LESS, came out in 2024 and is available at Bottlecap Press.